The Rhythm Of My Heartbeat-7

Previously...

Shoufaaww el9idfaa elwaQ7aa!! The four of us were standing in the middle of the way! And guess who cam around?! Yep .. S3OOD =)! He saw me, he smiled and came forward, until he noticed that I'm standing with two guys! Oh and yeah! One of them is YOUSIF!! That's when he froze! And had this look on his face that said "Entay shnuu?"! Ana hny itwahagt!...

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Shagouuul!! naQazt rinad!..

Rinad; shfeech?
Ruba; rinad!! Look into my eyes!!!

She looked into my eyes looking all confused! 3younyy kanat emghoorga! Eshdarany what's going on through s3ood'd head?!! Laish chithy e9eer feenyy! I really hope rinad could read my eyes!

Rinad; shfeech?

Damn it! She can't!!

Ruba; go walk your dog!
Rinad; ohh! Ok? Fech shay?
Ruba; *holding tears* no!
Rinad; are you sure?
Ruba; yes now go! *angry*
Rinad; okay!?? ..

She went and walked with salim, and I could hear him ..

Salim; shfeha rifejtich?
Rinad; madry! Faj2a 3a9ibat!

Ah rinad wallah entay ma tadreen ish9ayir feenyy!

Yousif; ha….
Ruba; *interrupts* DON'T! EVEN! THINK! ABOUT! IT!

And I walked up to s3ood!

S3ood; hahah! Seriously!?!! Ruba!!! Abyyy aQteliiiich!
Ruba; s3ood! Esmaa3!
S3ood; la asmaa3 wala shay!..

He was walking away! AGAIN!

Ruba; remember what happened last time? Shloun thalamtnyy o 6ala3t enta elghal6an? O yeet 3ala nafsyy o sama7tiik! Even though you really hurt me!

He was pretty far! I didn't know if he could hear me! I just wanted to spit it out! Because I've held it for so long!

Ruba; … if this happens again s3ood! I won't forgive you! Because it kills me that you don't trust me!

He stopped ..

S3ood; and it kills me to even THINK you're involved with yousif!

He got a few steps closer, and so did I ..

Ruba; but I'm not! S3ood I'm telling you! I'm not! Yousiif is a person I don't even know! He's the kind of person I see out in the street that I don't even want to know! I have zero interest in who he is!
S3ood; ta3al enta ta3al!

Shfeh? He was looking at something that's behind me, I turned around, and yes! Again! It was yousif! .. he looked disappointed!.. in me I guess?! Wai3 ishtaby?

S3ood; fahimny ishtaby?
Yousif; khair okhoi? Ana ishdarany enha hny?
S3ood; shouf la tig3ad tista3bii6!

S3ood pulled yousif from his tshirt! O s3ood looked really angry! .. I didn't want it to end like the last time! You all remember!! Ugh! So I had to step in and separate them!

Ruba; hey hey!!
S3ood; la la khaleenyy ana a3almaah!

I kind of like his mad jealousy! Ah he's so hot when he's angry ;p! mu waktaahh rubaa!! Focuuss!!

Yousif; laa!?
Ruba; ok! Chuuub! Both of you!! .. let me talk!!

They both zipped it! Surprisingly!

Ruba; wow! .. ok! Listen! My friend rinad has a boyfriend! Her boyfriend is this man's friend *points at yousif* .. ok? Ana madry enna ohwa hny! I just wanted to support my friend! She asked me to come with her to pick up the dog that her boyfriend bought her!

Then I took a deep breath, and walked away! Ya3ny seriously? Doesn't he know that this hurts me?! as much as I wanted to walk away and leave him behind, I wanted to take one last look at him! But I didn't! …

Dashait el-chalet looking very upset! .. yasmeena was watching tv, and basma was doing something in the tiny kitchen .. I just walked upstairs .. entered my room .. and cried myself to sleep ..

NEXT MORNING;

I woke up feeling a giant weight on my head! Ugh! A headache in other words! That's what happens when you cry yourself to sleep! .. I got up .. and into the bathroom ,, I sat on the toilet for 15 minutes! Not that I was doing anything, I was just so tired! Went by the sink, washed my face, and stared at my face against the mirror! What am I without s3ood? Ugh!! I hate that I love him! This is my last morning in the chalet! And I get to spend it crying over s3ood! I went down stairs, the lights were out, no one was awake! It was way too early! Dawn! I looked outside the sliding door .. and there was this amazing sunrise!! S3ood! S3ood! S3ood! ,, ifff! I took a hold of an apple from the fridge, grabbed the remote, and turned the tv on. I wasn't really watching anything! I just needed some sound that might comfort me! s3ood! S3ood! S3ood! …

9ali7; *itching his eye* shfeech?

I wiped my tears quickly..

Ruba; mafeeny shay!
9ali7; can you turn it down please?
Ruba; yeah sure.

I tunred the tv off, and went upstairs to my room..9ali7 was standing in front of the stairs ..

9ali7; I only said turn it down … I'm sorry!

7ayaty maskeen 7asbalah it'thayagt! He doesn't know enna I want to cry alone! So I ran downstairs .. coz kisar kha6ry .. and I gave him a hug! I never thought I would ever EVER hug 9ali7! ..

Ruba; don't mind me, I'm just a little tired!
9ali7; oh, are you okay?
Ruba; I will be! *fake smile*

Boy I really hate this! .. ugh! I needed fresh air! Aby ashim hawa!

Ruba; barou7 atmasha shway..
9ali7; hal 7aza?
Ruba; eh 3ady, 9ib7!
9ali7; if it makes you feel better, ok

I just left the chalet, and walked constantly..I had no idea where I was going .. I just walked! And found a nice isolated bench! I sat on it ,, took deep breaths .. and thought of what to do! I mean I want s3ood! I love s3ood! But he doesn't trust me! it won't work that way! He has to trust me! .. I settled down after a while and got back to the chalet house .. poor 9ali7 was sitting in the living room waiting for me ..

9ali7; ahlan!
Ruba; hi ..

I sat next to him ..

9ali7; *yawn* shnu tabeen itarayigain?
Ruba; madry ,, mu mishtahya shay!
9ali7; may9er, la eg3idaw rifejatich shawraw ba3ath shnu tab takloon

Shawraw? Wain ga3deen?

Ruba; yeah ok ..

The tv was on, 9ali7 was into the series, I was just staring at him.

9ali7; shfech?
Ruba; madryy ,, I thought wrong about you, I feel guilty!
9ali7; laish? What did you think?
Ruba; you would probably hate me!
9ali7; la2! Bs what did you think?

Umm! That you're an annoying little kid who wants to know everything about everyone with every little tiny detail?

Ruba; let's just saayy .. you proved me wrong! And I like who I see now!
9ali7; *smile* thanks
Ruba; no problem.

After a while, rinad came down ..

Rinad; ya 7mara wainich? I was freaked youm gimt o ma ligaitich!! Dawartiich bil 7amaam eb ghorfat bsaim ma ligaitich! Wallah I was so scared!
Ruba; well I'm here .. *tiny smile* don't worry...
Rinad; uh! Ams youm radait min … *noticed 9ali7 in the room* shesma! Ligaitich nayma! Baghair aga3dich bs gilt 7aram..
Ruba; eh thanks for not waking me
Rinad; sure ..

She wasn't really looking at me as we were talking, she was going through the small kitchen we had. Looking for something..

Rinad; where's the serials?
Ruba; near the microwave ..

She took it, and came sat down next to me,,

Rinad; hey! Shfeech?
Ruba; madryy
Rinad; Hmm..
9ali7; ana asta2thin.

He's sweet! Wallah! .. after he left …

Rinad; tell me!

I didn't really know what to say .. I just side hugged her, and ched a tear or two ..

Rinad; 7abeebty entay, la tabcheen *sad tone*

It was silent for a while, and then I told her everything!

Rinad; ohhh! 7ayatyyy! I'm so sorry! This is all my fault!
Ruba; la don't say that! It's not!
Rinad; la embala it is! I'll make it up to you!
Ruba; ranood la2! I'm just upset that s3ood doesn't trust me!
Rinad; oh! Ok ruba I don't mean to be mean! But he's madry shloun! He's the bad guy here!
Ruba; I know!! Bs rinad I really can't live without him!
Rinad; you can!
Ruba; ugh! It'll be really hard!
Rinad; don't worry! We're in this together!
Ruba; so you really think I should break up with him?
Rinad; ummm ,, if he doesn't trust you..? yeah
Ruba; yeah! .. *deep thinking*
Rinad; hey this is the last day ,, don't spend it being sad!
Ruba; ranood what else am I supposed to do?
Rinad; hmm ..

Madryy!! This was a bad time for me! I didn't know what to do! All I wanted is s3ood! I want him to trust me! I want to be with him! .. later that day .. I told basoom ,, she suggested I tell him how I feel! But what good will come from that? Madryy madryy! .. yasmeena, rinad, and 9aloo7 were outside on the beach. They were having fun with the new puppy "Nikey". Basoom was sitting with me, just sitting. No talking. And then …

Ruba; I miss him
Basma; call him! Go talk to him!
Ruba; should I?
Basma; yeah!
Ruba; umm ,, ok. Let me go bring my mobile.

I remembered that I didn't check on my mobile! Killish! Wala yeet 9ouba! I found it under my pillow! 6 msgs, and 15 missed calls!! All the missed calls were from s3ood! The msgs …

From s3ood;
I'm so sorry, wallah asef! I know I hurt you. I'm sorry

From s3ood;
Call me when you read this

From s3ood;
Ruba please call me, we need to talk! I'm worried about you!

From s3ood;
7abeebty ana shasawy bidounich 3almeeny! Please call me!!

From s3ood;
A7ibich

From 998xxxxx;
Ana asif 3ally 9ar! Killish ma kint abeeh e9eer. O allah ewafgich! O haman ana asef enny dazait lich msg, bs baghait ahawin 3alaich! O agoul lich allah ewafgich ma3a s3ood, o if you need any help don't hesitate to ask me. take care

Ugghhh!!! Shnu hathaa!!!!! clearlyy the last msg is from yousif, min 7achya ebayin. Mnuuu egoul ennyy I'm not confused! 7araam sa3oodyy feels guilty! Way ya rabby shasawy! Nizalt ta7at o ga3adt yam basoom, o warait'ha el-msgs!

Basma; awwwwww! Ok truth be told, both of them are sweet! Bs s3ood ana 7aQda 3alaih 9ara7a!
Ruba; mu kithryy! .. so what should I do?
Basma; like I said, call s3ood! Tell him how you feel!
Ruba; Madryyyy!
Basma; call him!

WAII3! MABYYY AKALMAAAHHH!!!! I HATE HIM ENZAIN!? I HATE HIM!

Basma; 3a6eenyy!

She stole my mobile, dialed his number, o 3a6atny el-phone youm rad…

S3ood; AKHEERAANN!? TADREEN ANA AMS MA NIMT! MASIK TELEPHONEY NA6RIICH ITDIGEEN 3ALAAYY! LAISH CHITHY ITSAWEEN FEENYYY!? HAA? ANA NISHAF DAMMY 3ASHANICH O ENTAY WALA EM3ABRATNYY! SHOUFAY RUBAA! MU ITSAWEEN FEENYY CHITHY MARA THANYA! WALLAH BAGHAIT AYEE SHALAIHKOM!*ANGRY*...
Ruba; …….
S3ood; ma it7achain!!?*angry*
Ruba; it kills me to be with you. And it kills me to leave you. S3ood shasawyy feek?
S3ood; ishga3 itgoleen?!
Ruba; maku marra thanya s3ood! Now I get to say "it's over"
S3ood; HAAAAA?!!!
Ruba; it's over!
Basma; *eyes popped out*
S3ood; min 9ijich ruba?
Ruba; you don't trust me, and you find it very hard to trust me. and I'm gonna make it easy for you, you don't have to!
S3ood; ruba I trust you!
Ruba; yeah sure! That's why you clench your teeth whenever you see yousif! That's why you thought I was with yousif! Because you "trust me"
S3ood; Ruba!!
Ruba; s3ood!! Bs khala9! Ta3abtny ma3ak! Ya3ny ma tadryy enyy a7is bil ehaana lama itshiik feenyy? With your FRIEND!!! Tadryy hathyy ishkobirha? .. khala9 s3ood! Khala9! La itgoul ay shay! Bs!

I hung up! 6ab3aan basma wayihhaaa galab alwaan!

Basma; entay yanaitay?
Ruba; bsaim tikfain! Wallah he deserves it!

We didn't talk much after that. I ran outside to 9aloo7 and the rest ..

Ruba; let's unpack! We're going home!
Rinad; so soon?
Ruba; yeah!

I looked like a person who doesn't wanna talk! So nobody argued with me. as we were leaving the chalet house. I saw s3ood waiting on a bench outside! I looked at him and continued walking! Ya3ny seriously? Ishtaby you show up el7een!?

FEW WEEKS LATER;

I was getting better .. I kept ignoring s3ood! Sure he showed up in my college a few times, but I acted as if he didn't exist! I had to change my number. Start a new life without s3ood! I vanished everything that would remind me of him. And about the necklace .. I had to take it off and put in a box that I hid in a drawer. I didn't really want to throw it.

IN COLLEGE;

Basma; waii3 ambaih bada3t bil emti7aan!
Rinad; haha! Tikfain entay meta ma bada3tay!?
Basma; t2! Waayyy my dad promised me a new car if I get good marks!
Rinad; la7ga 3al sayaraa!
Ruba; iff! I'm hungry.. emshaw entaghada!
Rinad; ok yallah. Wain?
Ruba; madryy ..
Basma; ooh oooh I know!
Rinad + ruba; wain?
Basma; it's a surprise. Ta3alaw my car, o you'll see when we get there!

We got in the car. I was sitting in the front passenger seet. Ranood was at the back, texting somebody, I'm guessing salim! .. we arrived at this amazing hotel!! Simply amazing! It was like you're on an island (6ab3an I'm making this up bs chithy khan7iis enna fe fanadiQ chithy bil Kuwait ok:P?) .. there was a restaurant..where the waiters were dressed in beij and Turquoise .. a waitress passed by holding a roud tray with an amazing juice with an umbrella that would make your stomach make noices! .. and there was an beautiful tiny waterfall ,, it gurgled amazingly .. and there was a tiny bridge right in the middle.. rinad hit basma softly ..

Rinad; why didn't you ever bring us here?

And then a cute hot waiter came by ..

Hot waiter; oh we just opened up ma'am!
Rinad; ohh! Well lemme tell you! Amazing job! This like heaven next door!
Hot waiter; *giggles* thank you ma'am, would you like to have a seat?
Basma; yeah .. non smoking please
Hot waiter; sure ma'am ,, table for three?
Basma; yes ..
Hot waiter; ok we have three tables available ,, the one nearby the waterfall , and the one near the lobby, and the one near the bridge ..

His accent mu 9ij! I've talked to a million philipene's before, but this one tops them all! Haha, I laughed a little inside.

Basma; we'll have the one near the waterfall.
Hot waiter; ok ma'am ,,

We sat. we ordered.. and we were talking while we waited for the order ..

Rinad; so? Rwaib! When are you coming back to the old you?

I was trying to look distracted by playing with the table cover .. and I did lots of things that didn't make sence!

Ruba; what old me? I'm still the same! *chuckles sarcastically*
Basma; the old you who doesn't play with tables and messes around with the salt and the ketchup to avoid looking into our eyes and tell us what you're thinking?!!

I put my hands down! And rolled my eyes!

Rinad; we're your best friends! Since when we don't tell each other every single detail?! All I ever heard from you the past weeks is "I'm fine don't worry"!

Is this some kind of therapy?

Basma; so spill!
Ruba; I have nothing to say! Like..I mean!..

They looked at me with sad eyes! But I don't want their sympathy!

Ruba; there's a time in your life! That all of us go through some time! .. and I'm going through that!
Basma; well ,, just remember that we love you! Ok? We don’t mean to put you under pressure! But we just really like to help, o take your time, bs please la it3aQbeen nafsich ok?

And she held her mobile trying to make herself look normal! I can tell she was really bothered for me! .. ugh! You guys are perfect! Bs shagouuuull!!

Ruba; I love you guys wallah! .. and .. *shakes head* s3ood! I miss him like hell! LIKE HELL! And I forgot what my life was like before s3ood! So I can go back and live it like the way I did before! This is really hard for me! I never thought there would come a day where "Eye" (Note; Eye means "I" I wanted to make it boldy because it's a big deal, bs it wouldn't show, so I wrote "eye" boldy) break up with s3ood! I thought he might dump me! but I never thought by any chance that I would! NEVER!
Rinad; well .. don't you wanna talk to him?
Ruba; LA2! Akhaf I soften..
Basma; hmmm .. what are you planning for?
Ruba; well I don't have a plan!
Basma; but you wanna be happy?
Ruba; yeah
Basma; without s3ood?
Ruba; mhmm ..
Basma; what are these cards for?

And she got out a bunch of credit cards, you know the ones that make your pupil turn into the dollar sign! Yeah! That!

Rinad; ooooooooooooohhh!
Basma; oh yeah! You're eyes ain't lying to ya!
Ruba; you really think shopping will help?
Basma; oh yeah! I read an article about it!
Rinad; cool!
Basma; so as soon as we're finished eating in this amazing restaurant, off to raya!
Ruba; raya?
Basma; oh yeah! The article said "pricey" ..
Rinad; tadreen ennich 7mara?
Basma; *sudden bursting laugh* laish?
Rinad; A) my mom will kill me. B) tha7ketich itfashil we're in an elegant place! Behave *jokes*
Basma; haha, remind me again! How many times have your mother killed you?
Rinad; a thousand?
Basma; and you're still alive aren't you?
Rinad; *thinks for a while* alright I'm in!

Basma looked at me waiting for my approval ..

Ruba; I'm so in! .. I haven't spent money in ages!

My friends laughed, and for the first time for a long time I laughed with them. It didn't last long, but I laughed.

We went shopping, I baught lots of things I don't need! I bought 'em just for my pleasure! .. ugh you won't believe how shoes could make my day! I bought like a dozen of 'em! .. I bought lots of things really .. I can't really mention! .. we sat at the coffee shop after we finished shopping, or after we assumed we finished shopping.

Basma; I want a moca
Rinad; espresso
Ruba; I quit coffee
Basma; *Long gasp*
Ruba; whaat? *giggles*
Basma; I'll gasp again if you would giggle!
Ruba; *giggles* stop that!
Basma; aahhh rwaiib I miss you!

And she gave me a hug!

Rinad; heyy! O ana bint elba6a elsoudaa?
Basma; ugh

She simply pulled ranood and we group hugged!..

Ruba; omg look at that guy over there! He's so effin hot!
Rinad + basma; *Gasp*
Basma; that lady is back on the game! O elsaan 6iweel ba3aad *shocked*
Ruba; hahaha! .. bsaim awal ma inriid elbait! I want you to hug the person who wrote the article about shopping! And tell him my dear friend ruba is so greatful and wants to marry you if you're single!

They cracked up!

Ruba; oh no forget I said that, I don't wanna get married, I'm better off single ;p

And they laughed again. I admit I had a great time. There were a few moments where I remembered s3ood, caused by seeing someone who looks like him. Or picking an outfit that has his favorite color. O going through men's clothes and wonder what he would look like in them. So I guess I will never forget s3ood, and I won't be able to love someone other than him. That's why I'm going to be single forever! My first love, my last love, killed me and brought me back to life, then killed me again for good;*