The Rhythm Of My Heartbeat-23

Finallyyyyyy! El7imdillah I was doing alotta studying! o 6ala3 enna my schedule el7imdillah rahy! I have alotta time! ,, Just wish me luck;** .. Fa hal post ana katbita awal whenever I took a break or before I went to bed, 3ashankom bss ;*** I guess it's long ,, Well according to the time I had to write it is ,, here goes ;***

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Previously...

I found my way out and waited for him there, near his car,, 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! I got a sunburn and he still wasn't there, I've had it 6 minutes later and called him ,, No answer! I called again, still no answer! What is her doing up there I thought,

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I got up again and found him just sitting there in the mini gallery and smoking ,,


Ruba; Hellooo?!



He looked at me with a sided smile ,,



Ruba; shfeeek?
Yousif; Abeech itshofeen shayy ,,
Ruba; Shnu?

He pulled me to the first photo ,, He mentioned a name and date ..



Yousif; look closely!


I did! Ma fahamt shnu yabyy!


Ruba; she's pretty?
Yousif; look again!
Ruba; She has a mole on her neck?
Yousif; No! Look at me!


I looked at him in the photo, Nothing seemed catchyy ! .. I just didn't get it!


Ruba; You had a dirty beard back then?
Yousif; look at my eyes!
Ruba; shfeehum?
Yousif; where are they glued upon?

Just before I could answer, he tightened his grip on my wrist and moved to the other photo ,,

Yousif; What about this one?


To the next one

Yousif; What about this one?

And to the next one


Yousif; what about this one?


And to mine ,,


Yousif; what do you see here? Where are my eyes glued upon?
Ruba; *low shallow voice*on my eyes...
Yousif; and what about the others?
Ruba; *low shallow voice*they were looking elsewhere
Yousif; And what does that mean?
Ruba; that ..
Yousif; I love you!


My eyes closed, and it was like, the first time I hear someone who's angry with me say it! It felt strong, It felt meaningful ..


Yousif; I was just trying to make you feel the way I felt when I read the note!


How did he know it was me? haha! Who am I kidding?! Of course it was me!!


Ruba; Ba --
Yousif; also knowing!!! That you're totally over s3ood ,, I'm also over these!
Ruba; *sigh*


I don't wanna sound selfish and say "He said he would take me out to make me feel better and now he's making me more miserable" But it was totally the wrong thing to do at the wrong time! During all my problems that I'm facing! He still has to remind me of S3ood! And throw it in my face when I'm 2 inched away from breaking down? Saying he loves me was the sweetest. But he made me feel guilty! Everytime I remember s3ood, it's like ,, You know when you recall your childhood, And there would always be a memory of a wonderful doll, or some sweet sweet candy that your parents wouldn't allow you to get, only because it's best for you not to? Well s3ood was like that! Only I didn't allow myself! Eye was the one who said it's over! Eye was the one who broke up with him! ,, Sure I had my regrets at first, But then Yousif came into my life, and made it worth it! But everytime he mentions his name, everytime he mentions something about his uni! Every memory pops in my mind again and I can't help it!


Yousif; I'm welling to put them all behind me if you do so too
Ruba; I already did!
Yousif; Then why are you tearing up? Because you're remembering the things that happened!? Because you heard his name!? Because you're wondering what if I stayed with him!!? Riiigght?


I had no idea, I didn't feel like I was tearing up! Wasn't I over s3ood?


Ruba; yousif I.. I .. I didn't know! ,, I didn't feel .. I don't know!
Yousif; you don't know?
Ruba; uhh .. umm


I had no stee3aab left!


Yousif; I'm asking you a question and you don't know?!! .... I'm asking you are you tearing up because you still love him?
Ruba; No!
Yousif; are you tearing up because you're not over him?
Ruba; No!
Yousif; then why are you?!


A fantastic idea came to my brain after that blank minute ..


Ruba; I know ,, my contacts are hurting!
Yousif; shocking new for you honey, you don't wear contacts!


Or maybe a dumb idea!


Ruba; yousif I don't know why! But I know I'm over him!
Yousif; over who?
Ruba; him!
Yousif; who?


I knew he knew! I knew he was not stupid! He wanted me to day his name, even though he knew it would hurt!


Ruba; *silent sigh* S3ood! *low voice*
Yousif; Who?
Ruba; UGGGHHH! S3OOODDD!!!! I'M OVER S3OOOD OKAAY?!!!


I couldn't hold my tears no longer! I swept and he didn't hold me! He didn't even look at me! ,, I was crying alone in the same room with him ,,


Ruba; can you take me home now? please?


He grabbed my hand and dragged me to his car, and so we went to the co-op and seperated there. Not a word.


I drove back hom, And found Khalid arguing with dad. I didn't bother interfering and defend Khalid of course! I had my own problems and I was going through a rough time! I couldn't help but hear a few things ,,


Khalid; bs yuba may9eer! Mamdaak!
Father; Ya3ny ishtabeenyy asawyy? Akhaleeha hnak ib rou7ha?
Khalid; o khair ya 6air!? ka min gablik ma kanat ib rou7ha! Mu Qa9ib elsalfa!!
Father; la Qa9ib!
Khalid; Shil sibab! Laish chithyy mitmassik feeha o tharooryyy itrou7 laha?


I stopped on the 7th step of the stairs! I wanted to hear the rest! I wanted to know whyy!?


Father; l2anyy a7ibha!


*AWKWARD LONG SILENCE*


I froze, What did he just say? He LOVES her? E7ibha?! He loves another woman who's not my mom! He loves a stranger? He loves a woman I've never even met? He loves a woman whom I don't even know her name?! Who is she? Mnu ehya 3ashan chithyy tiyee faj2a o let's my dad fall in love with her? Mnu hathyy? I felt jealous! I felt malicious! For the first time in my life, I'm jealous of a woman who doesn't have her eye on my boyfriend! This time, her eyes were on my dad! Is it normal to feel jealous for your own dad?


I could hear Khalid stepping out of the chair and coming towards the stairs, That's when I continued climbing as if nothing happened and hoped he wouldn't see me when he reaches the stairs! You know my luck! Unlucky! All the time! Yep he cought me!


Khalid; min meta entay hnyy?


I stopped and closed my eyes shut really tight! At some point I thought it was just a nightmare and that I was going to wake up right now! And I would be back to my normal happy life!
I opened my eyes, And I was still in the same place! Unlucky!


Ruba; not long
Khalid; enzain emshay dary!
Ruba; actually long enough! I heard him!
Khalid; come to my room!


I didn't want to! I wanted to go to my room and cry my eyes out! But I had to follow him coz I didn't want him to get angry and then my day gets better =)


We got in his room, he sat me on the bed, he grabbed a chair and sat there, facing me.


Khalid; We have to prepare!
Ruba; Huh?
Khalid; He's never gonna be here! And we're gonna have to take care of ourseleves alone!
Ruba; I can take care of myself!
Khalid; And when I get married?
Ruba; I'll manage!


He gazed at the floor and went through deep thinking.


Khalid; Ok, here's the deal! Ana ma ra7 arta7! Ana akh6ib "her" o itkoun khi6ba 6iweela 3ala ma entay ittizawijain!


*BIIIIZZPPPPP* HOLD UP! Now if I don't get married ,, He won't?!! Fe position akhas min chithyyy? Ya3nyy I can decide whether they get married now? Or three years from now? Or not even at all!!??


Ruba; No! Khalid enta ma lik sheghil feeny! Enta ma tadryy allah shnu katiblyy! Get married malik sheghil feeny! Wallah I can take care of myself I'm not a kid! Plus dad said you're gonna live here, so it won't be a problem!
Khalid; La ruba, ma ra7 arta7! Entay ekhtyy! You're my duty now! Dad thinks we're old enough to take care of ourselves, but we can't! He thinks we don't need him any more! But we do! He has got it messed up and I don't want to do the same! Ruba please la itnaQsheenyy ib hal mawthoo3! Min elyoum o rayi7 kilmityy elly tamshyy, o I'm getting married after you do!
Ruba; Bu ..
Khalid; Oboi shakla rasim ib yahjir, and our granparents don't seem to mind! Since they agreed to his marriage! But I'll be here all the time, under every circumstance, no matter what! Forget him!


Forget him? HIM HIM? I went off track as he said "him"! Him! Him! Him! I knew he meant dad! But ,, "Him"! Akh 3ala him!


Khalid; a7acheech ana!
Ruba; .. eeh! Khala9 khalid la itsheel ham! You're too young for this!
Khalid; We both are! But we can't change anything, so we might as well fight and stand tall!
Ruba; emm


"Him" "Him" "Him"


Khalid; Ekhtyyy Qawiya 9a7?
Ruba; Emm!
Khalid; Shnu emm!? Goulaayyy EEEHHHH!
Ruba; Eh!
Khalid; EEHH!
Ruba; EEEHH!
Khalid; 3afya! Now don't worry about me! ,, Take of yourself and I will take care of you!Everyrthing will soon get better inshallah!
Ruba; Inshallah!


I dismissed myself and went to my room! I didn't cry ,, I was in moments of hopelessness and disgrace! I felt pity towards myself! Look at how my life turned out! I only had two things I love, And the third I wasn't sure! Khalid and Rinad <3,>

Out of hopelessness and sadness, I decided to sleep and hoped not to wake up! I had no reason to wake up! (You may have noticed enna whenever she feels sad she goes to bed, Some people do that to avoide sadness, But tara it doesn't work, You never wake up feeling fresh or happy! You're just posponing the sadness for a few hours later! Which is baaad :p! Don't do it wallah :p! Ana min elnou3 elly etha thag khilgy adish el7amaam atsabba7 :p! Weird huh? Elly sa3aat ekoun 7ail thayig khilgy adish atsabba7 a6la3 atnashaf o arid atsaba7 marra thanya xD LOOL! Wallah it's soo funny days later :p ,, 3adyy 3adyy ;p )

I woke up at 2 am ,, I woke up feeling so thirsty, I looked around my room for a bottle, But I didn't find it. which I thought was weird because I always have at least two bottles in my mini fridge, So I had to run downstairs, I grabbed my phone on my way down along with my pink flip flops ,, "Chakchakt" bil phone on my way down, and came to find a msg from yousif

From Moron;
I know I haven't made it better for you, Sorry, Let's make it up tomorrow;*

I got the water and got back to my room, and overheard my brother talking on the phone, like the usual, walking around in the living room ,,

Khalid; 7abeebtyy mayseer tishireen ,, Hehehe ,, adryy adryy la 3ady I manage ,, Baitna 9akhaaa ma ittakhayilain killa chithyy ,, eeh enshallah bachir natrisa 3yaal! ,, hehehe fidait elly yisti7oun wallah! ,,

I smiled at his sweet love talk, and went back to my room. And found the courage to reply to yousif ,,

To Moron;
I'll see enshallah I'll make it;*

A minute later
From Moron;
ok 7abeebty, shimga3dich lay hal 7azza?

I was already buzzed off ,, I replied the next morning as I was getting ready for uni

To Moron;
Sorry I fell asleep, I was thirsty fa ga3adt min elnoum ,,

A minute later
From Moron;
Ah 9a7 elnoum 7ayaty entay, ish9ar 3ala elyoum?

To Moron;
Oooh! I totally forgot I was half asleep when I read your msg, I didn't ask khalid, or dad, whatever ..

From Moron;
Ask him over the phone ,,

I was in the cafe at that time, and guess who came and sat to the table a few steps away?

Guess,

Guess, Guess!

Chinnaaa...?

Chinnaaa...?

BASMA!